Blog Envy

A post about ‘Blog Envy’

While looking through my favourite footballing forum on Sunday evening, I happened upon a thread entitled ‘Kelly Brook in the buff (full frontal NWS)’

Of course, knowing this particular site as well I as do and also Ms Brook’s apparent stubborn refusal to bare any thing more than her breasts (much to the recent chagrin of Hugh Heffners bank manager and to the heartbreak of thousands of teenage boys and older-and-should-know-better men) I, of course, expected to be ‘Barlow’ed

On this particular forum a ‘Barlow’ is the equivalent of being ‘Rick Rolled’ but instead of the musical stylings of Rick Astley and his ubiquitous 1987 number 1 hit, you will most likely see a picture or gif of Coronation Street’s legendary love lothario actor William Roach as ‘Ken Barlow’. Often, a thread will promise any number of wonders within, from naked celebrities to the exact location of the Arc of the Covenant but 99% of the time – Barlow – doh!, caught again, Classic Ken!

But no. Just this once, it was real. There on the page before my eyes, for the first time, a fully naked Kelly Brook.

Like Patrick Stewart in Extras, I could see everything





But hold on, Kelly Brook wasn’t the most interesting thing on this page. I noted that this was a WordPress blog just like mine (only much better looking) and then over on the right hand side of the page it carried the legend ‘Blog Visitors since November 27th 2010’…….



Jesus H Christ on a very large bicycle. 2,795,081 visitors! Initially, I’ll admit it, I was a little upset – I mean, in my own scrappy way on my little blog I’m trying to write a few things that may inform, interest or (in a more unlikely scenario) even entertain whatever lost souls wander past my page and yet I can barely drag in a few hundred visitors. Meanwhile, the merest sniff of celebrity lady flesh brings in more viewers than Channel 5 could ever dream of – am I wasting my time?

Is the (virtual) pen no longer mightier than the (pork) sword?

So, feeling a little disheartened, I started to examine why I don’t get more hits

Is it the blog itself? Are the topics too random? (Games, Films and the occasional bit of Japanese). Is it the crude layout that I haven’t taken the time to improve? Is is the spelling and grammatical errors? Or worse, is the content that poor that no one is interested? (Yes, yes, yes and yes)

Is it me? I don’t really promote myself. Essentially, I’m kind of a private person. I rarely use Facebook and even then, my profile isnt public so only a few friends can see my rambling and, the frankly bloody hilarious, funny cat gifs

I much prefer Twitter and really enjoy reading the conversations, thoughts and ramblings of the 180ish people I follow; from family to friends, actors, musician, sportsmen, gamers, fellow ‘one a day’ers and other assorted randoms but I’m not outgoing enough to jump in and say ‘hi’ to people I don’t really know, so I don’t really generate many followers of my own (I believe 54 at the time of writing – although if you weed out the various fake accounts, maybe 40?)


So like any mature thirty something, I did the only decent thing available to me. I sulked. I sulked for a good 24 hours in fact

And then yesterday, while starting a new post, I realised – hits didn’t matter. I remember why I started this blog in the first place. I did it for me. I did it because over the past few years life had caught up with me and the inevitabilities of work commitments and family had meant that I hadn’t had the time to do some of the things I used to enjoy doing – like writing

Up until last year I had spent most of my life working in the NHS. I was never really happy there and, let’s be honest, they don’t really promote creativity in their office drones. Last year I started working within the British film industry and am happier than I have ever been at work (just don’t tell my boss that) and being exposed to so many creative and passionate people has reignited something that for the longest time I had forgotten about and this blog was supposed to be about me taking my first baby steps to finding my creative side again

I never expected my tiny little blog to set the world alight. I’m just enjoying writing it. If anyone reads it, that’s a bonus. If anyone likes it, well, I’d be over the moon








Classic Ken!

  1. Great post. You’ve got the right attitude; as soon as you start hit-chasing it becomes an unpaid job. You’ll find, though, that certain things you write will naturally resonate with people and ended up shared and RTd around the place, and you’ll see a traffic spike on those days. It’s sometimes interesting to see what causes them.

    Keep it up, though, and enjoy it. That’s the important thing.

    • Ash
    • February 15th, 2011

    I suspect the title of the post will do your traffic figures a good boast from an SEO point of view, anyway! Every cloud and all that!

    • Phil
    • February 18th, 2011

    Yeah, good advice. Just keep doing your thing and don’t worry about anyone else.

    When the approval of others drives creative acts, there’s no creativity! Just a steady stream of the same thing over and over.

  2. Thanks for your comments, especially to Pete and Phil. As Ash so rightly pointed out the title of post did cause a spike in my traffic but not the sort that stay around to read when they discover there are no naked pictures of Kelly Brook – so i’ve decided to re-name the post to ‘Blog Envy’ to save from causing disappointment!

    • Hayden
    • February 28th, 2011

    “Is the (virtual) pen no longer mightier than the (pork) sword?”


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